I Knew It Would Be A Good Day...

I knew it would be a good day this morning when I woke up feeling completely and absolutely relaxed. I knew it would be a good day today when I put on my Chacos. I knew it would be a good day when I heard Frank Sinatra on the shuttle radio this morning and the nice old bus driver told me to have a good day. I knew it would be a good day when I found out that my Creative Arts test was on Thursday, not today. I knew it would be a good day when I finally got my HURD shirt and I wasn't late to class because of it. I knew it would be a good day when my Human Development teacher put a pirate hat on in the middle of the lecture and told us that we didn't have class on Thursday; instead our assignment was to play. That's right. Play. I knew it would be a good day when my math class was canceled. I knew it would be a good day when I was on the shuttle and the cute boy next to me started singing "Magic" along with the radio and bumped his shoulder next to mine, apologizing because he liked the song. I laughed. I knew it would be a good day when I spent the afternoon at the kitchen table with my roommate helping her set up her very own blog. I knew it would be a good day when I realized that I could finish all of my Connections homework tonight and then be done with it. Forever. I knew it would be a good day because I didn't feel like crying even once today. I knew it would be a good day because I had a bowl of cereal for dinner. I knew it would be a good day because not only do I have IWA tonight but the fireside choir tonight as well.
Some things you just know, you know?

What I've Been Up To and Randi's Five Secrets About College...

Hey, hey, hey. Sorry about that last post. Honestly, it was a little bit of a hormonal, emotional night but no worries, I've got a handle on it now. Sometimes it just slips out a little bit. So what have I been up to? Just living the college life. Just some True Aggie night you know?

Did I attend? That would be a no. Do I want to attend? Again, negative. What did I do instead?

That's right, I watched New In Town on Netflix instead. Seemed like a better solution to me. And yes, I am wearing skinny jeans in that picture. Me, the self proclaimed skinny jeans hater wore them. I have many theories about skinny jeans but I still got a pair. The jury is still out on that vote.
What else have I been up to besides wearing skinny jeans and avoiding kisses from random boys? Just living life at O4. Our apartment is the best. No joke. We as roommates are pretty hilarious. I've been on a decorating kick as well.

Went to the DI, found some frames for two dollars, went and bought spray paint the next Wal-Mart trip (there is no Target in Logan. It's killin' me. Complete and total blasphemy) found some pictures off the internet and there we have it. Something at the top of our stairs. On to my five secrets about me and college. I'm sure that there will be more coming along but here's just a few so far:
1. I've turned into a neat freak. Yes, my half of the room usually has clothes everywhere but besides that point, I've turned into my mother and grandmother. I have to wipe things down every few days or I get this itchy feeling.
2. Today I went to class looking like a bag lady. I got up this morning and pulled on some sweats, put the hair in a headband, and went to pilates. I got back and was waffling between the choice of getting ready or studying for two straight hours. I hit the books and it got me nowhere today on my test. Fetch. I didn't shower till about two o' clock.
3. I've turned lazy and ride the shuttle mostly these days. I've got to quit it or the freshmen fifteen and I are going to become close friends. And that's just one friendship I'm not willing to start. But...if I see a cute boy get on the shuttle that I could be taking..I'll take it.
4. I smell my milk everyday to see if it's still good. The experience where I poured a glass of milk, took a nice big drink, realized that my milk tasted like Sprite and that it wasn't normal, thus leading me to spit it out in the sink has me paranoid.
5. I'm ready for cooler weather. Snow, no. Cooler, yes. Cool enough to wear pants and jackets but not cold enough that the Chacos get packed away. I'm dreading the day the Chacos get packed away.
So..that's it for now. Let's see if I can get all these emotions under control so I can study for my Creative Arts test.

Boys and Girls...

Boys and girls. We're from two different plants. Especially teenage boys and girls, because neither of us ever know what the other is thinking. It would much better sometimes if we did because things would be a heck of a lot simpler. Hey, I'll be the first to admit it, we girls are complicated. Completely. But...boys aren't very simple either. There are some things I don't think boys will ever really get about girls though...
Boys may not realize how much time girls spend time thinking about them. How much time we spend analyzing every single move they make, every word they say, and how much we really care sometimes.
Boys probably realize how irrational girls are sometimes. We're irrational, but it makes sense to us. That what we say and what we mean can be two different things. How much we want things to work out even when we know they probably won't. Because face it girls, all of us have a romantic deep inside.
Boys many never know how much we care what they think. That we take so long to get ready because we want to look nice for them.
Boys may never know how girls hurt inside sometimes. That we hope and hope and hope..and when it doesn't work out, it kills us inside for a while.
Boys may never realize that while they move on quickly, we may take a little longer hanging on. That we look at our phones about 20,000 different times a night, hoping for some sign that he's still there.
Boys never realize that there's so many songs out there that girls will relate to them.
Boys may never realize how scared girls are to tell them what we feel, because admitting sentimentality is hard.
"I miss you, I care about you, I want to be with you even just for a day, because you matter to me."
Boys will never know how many tears are cried over them. How many nights are spent crying into a pillow, how many tissues are used in conversations with moms and best friends, and how many showers turn into opportunities to cry without anyone noticing. We girls are an emotional sort.
Boys may never realize that a girl may hold a place in her heart for them for a while. Because its hard to say goodbye to something you wanted.
I could go on...because this is a lot better than doing homework right now and I'm an emotional teenage girl. I couldn't focus if I tried. Because, I'm just thinking of everything I'd finally say if I saw someone. So with words like that running around your head, its hard to sit down and worry about equations and human development, you know?



I'm Randi and trying to stop caring about someone else is hard.

Looking Back and a Letter To My Past Self...

Randi 2008. Status: Sixteen, finished my sophomore year of high school, just broke up with first boy I ever told I loved, left the first group of friends I'd ever really known, finally getting over my illness, and feeling totally and completely lost.
Last week, I was walking up to campus, noticing the beautiful trees and the warm sunshine on my face. I was wearing my Chacos (score) so there was a definite bounce in my step and I knew that I was going to leave in a couple of hours for a great weekend. I realized that I was content with my life. Sure, there are a few things that could be better but there are definitely many more things that could be worse. Perfectly content. I thought back to where I was two years ago. I thought back to who I was two years ago. If I could go back to myself two years ago, there would be so many things I'd tell her. First off, I'd give her a hug. I'd tell her that I know things are feeling hard right now, that I know how hard it is to get up every morning and figure out what to because we're lost. I'd reassure her that things are going to turn out okay, better than we'd ever dreamed. That we'd grow an unbelieveable amount and that someday, we'd take our struggles and use them to help someone else out. I'd tell her to let go of that anger that we've been holding inside ourself because it's only going to sit there for a while, and that it never gets us anywhere. That we needed to learn to forgive quicker, and how much happier we would be when we finally just let go. I'd tell her that even though it seems like we lost everyone we cared about, we'd gain even more people who were better and brighter and we'd smile, laugh, and love with them more than we ever had. I'd tell her its okay to cry. That our tears don't compromise our strength. That we'll learn to trust again. I'd tell her not to waste her time on boys that don't deserve us but we're going to meet some amazing people soon. People that'll change our life. We'll discover who we are in the mountains and that our happiness is going to come from working hard and helping others. I'd tell her not to start being so critical of her looks and herself because soon enough, we'll make it habit. It'll be one of our hardest battles yet and that we still haven't conquered it.
I'd tell her that even though we're not sure about it, our Heavenly Father loves us and He's watching out for us every single second. That life is beautiful and we're growing up better and stronger every single day. I'd tell her it'll be okay to take chances and we'll be the better person for it. We'll do things we never dreamed of like, climbing upside down on 100ft cliffs, going places without at least one person we know, or being a part of amazing groups and being looked up to. That we're going to be blessed with a wonderful, beautiful, unexpected, challenging, joyful, loving, bright, happy life and even though I haven't seen even half of it yet, it's going to get even better. I wouldn't tell her everything along the way because even though we're not fond of surprises, some things can't be explained, they have to be felt and experienced. I'd give her another hug, and tell her that it's all going to be okay. Actually, much much much better than okay.


Randi 2010. Status: Starting my first semester at college having a beautifully wonderful group of friends and family, the best life experiences from school, meeting amazing people, being involved in life changing things, having a strong testimony of the gosepl, and knowing who I am and learning to love it.

Goodbye Trevor...

Trevor and I at Winter Ball, senior year.


Trevor and I at Shoshone Falls, senior year after we left the State Capitol


Trevor and I (and Teegan) at his farewell, just a little windswept.
One of my best friends, Trevor, leaves for his mission on Wednesday so I went to his farewell on Sunday. He's the first one to go out of our really tight group of friends and I wasn't expecting it be as hard as it was! I've known Trev since the 7th grade, back when we used to sit next to each other on the bus and he bit my pencil in half once. We had so much fun this year in student council just doing crazy stuff like climbing on the roof (ahem) and when we went to the state capitol and in Special Needs Seminary, at Winter Ball, and pretty much just anything our group of friends did. His talk was so good though and he's going to be a great missionary in Tijuana, Mexico even though we're going to miss him! I went to hug him goodbye and once I looked at him, I seriously started bawling. I seriously told him, "Man, I can't even look at you!" Sheesh. But really, he's going to rock. Because anyone who can die, come back, have an awesome testimony, and be as crazy as he is will definitely be an amazing missionary.

Just a few people who loved Trev enough to come to his farewell.



It was so nice to see my friends again, I missed them.




Good luck, Trev. We love you and we'll miss you. Go dominate.

One of the Best Classes on Earth...

Just being all philosophical at the kitchen table
Dearest Blog, I am so sorry to have neglected you like a long lost sock on the side of the road (I saw one today) but I am back! Even though I don't have much to brag about (I actually should be writing a paper right now)...but oh well, not much can be done about that. I'm finally getting acclimated to college life and I love my roommates. Our apartment is feeling like second home. My roommates and I are going out tonight for a night together (I'll post pictures of everything soon, I swear). I'm really enjoying a lot of my classes and I'm learning alot. What's one of my favorite classes you ask? Special Needs Institute. Hands down. A lot of people have asked me why I chose to do a special needs religion class again and honestly, I wasn't planning on it. I signed up for the Doctrine and Covenants class and when I walked in the first day, I noticed that it was special needs. I sat down in class and it was pretty different from high school special needs seminary, mainly because a lot of the students aren't teenagers anymore. I wasn't sure if I should stay in it...but I'm so glad that I did. I love that class and it's two hours a week that I get to sit down and forget about me. Forget about my problems, my concerns, my selfish nature...because I'm focusing on another group of kids who know so much more than I do. Why do I do it? Because I love it when David comes in and tells me how working at McDonald's is. I love Larry's smile. I love Amberly telling me that she can't wait to see me the next time we have class. I love Sharon's laugh and Susie's prayers. I love Udell reading the scriptures to us. I love Joey telling me that he loves me and shaking my hand. Joey has Down syndrome and every time I see him I can't help but think of the Down syndrome kids in our high school special needs class. There's something special about kids with Downs. Because I look at them and I know that they're seeing something that I'm not. I came across a quote in the section about Down Syndrome in my Human Development book and all I could think of was the special needs kids that I've been blessed to cross paths with.

"You may have to work hard, but don't ever give up. Always remember that you are important. You are special in your own unique way. And one of the best ways to feel good about yourself is to share yourself with someone else."
-Christi Todd [quoted in Hassold & Patterson, 1999]

There's been some things that I've been struggling with the past few weeks. Letting some parts of my old life go and such. I'm homesick sometimes. I really am missing my friends and some of the people I met this summer. It's hard, much harder than I thought, to let go of some things. I thought I could just be mature and move on quickly but I'm still struggling. I feel as if I'm on some uneven ground and I'd love for it to go back to being easy, carefree summer again. But don't feel all sorry for me because I only share about my struggles here because my blog is my journal of sorts. I pray every night (and sometimes cry in the shower) for a solution and I know that eventually one will come. And hopefully I'll look back in a year and realize that I was absolutely fine. But for now, I could really use a hug sometimes. Good thing I'm going home this weekend.

Redfish Lake

The second to last week of August, my family and I had the opportunity to go to camping at Redfish Lake with some family friends and their family. We had the best time and Redfish Lake is absolutely gorgeous. We played in the picturesque albeit cold lake, rode our bikes around, ate delicious food, battled with wind, went down to the Lodge, laughed, went for drives, played with Camden aka one of the cutest babies on the planet, showered outside, regained cell service, saw beautiful landscape, went to a ghost town and the Yankee Fork dredge, stayed up late but took naps, felt sand beneath our toes and had it come back with us in my backpack, took pictures, and just altogether had a beautiful time.











What a wonderful trip to end the summer with. I'd go back in a heartbeat

Acclimating...

Alright, I'm back. Finally got back in the mood to blog tonight. This past week has been insane with getting ready for college and such. Tuesday, I drove down to Logan with my mom and half my stuff (I had a class that I had to be here for Wed-Sat and I couldn't move in till my apartment till Friday) and we stayed in a hotel for the week. Friday, while I was in class, my family moved me into my apartment and got me all situated. I had an activity that night that was called the Taste of Logan and I walked around with my new friends and we tried new restraunts and got coupons and such. Go college kids. I stayed in the apartment all by myself that night (none of my other roomates had fully moved in) and let me tell you, I was not really lovin' it but I just locked my door and my bedroom door, put the pepper spray by my bed, and stayed up till one o' clock texting and watching Project Runway. Saturday, I had class which was pretty bummer but I went and it was a really great experience. My class was a class that was centered around helping freshmen get acclimated and everything so some things were pretty boring but some things were actually worthwhile. The first day of class we went and volunteered at a center for Spanish families. I met this girl named Aubrey and we immediately clicked and hung out all week. Saturday, we met in the auditorium and listened to our speaker, Luma Mufleh, coach of the refugee soccer team the Fugees. For my class we had to read a book and the book this year was Outcasts United by Warren St. John. It's all about the Fugees soccer team and the story is pretty amazing so it was a great opportunity to listen to her speak and see what kind of person she is.
I went and hung with my parents for a little bit on Saturday before they left. When they were leaving, I was having a really hard time with it because I knew that once they left, I was on my own. Moving out has been really hard because even though I know that I'll be coming back home, I don't think things will ever be the same again. I'll never live at home quite the same again because I've left. Once my parents left, I honestly sat down on the floor of my living room and bawled. Full on crying, hiccuping, sobbing, for about ten minutes (I was glad that my roomates hadn't moved in yet so I could just be upset for a while). Even now I'm still having a hard time because a part of me just wants to be home, plain and simple. I went to church with my friend Aubrey today and one of the hymns we sang was exactly what I needed to hear. #85 How Firm a Foundation. The third verse got to me especially:
“Fear not, I am with thee; O be not dismayed!
For I am thy God, and will still give thee aid;
I'll strengthen thee, help thee, and cause thee to stand,
Upheld by my righteous, omnipotent hand.
It was perfect. I took the Sacrament and I could feel the Spirit with me. It was even better when I went to Ward Prayer with my roomates.
That's a little bit of college so far. I'll upload some pictures of my room and my roomates soon. My room is pretty cute and it's starting to feel like another home. Hopefully I get more motivated to write some more and not get so down and neglect my poor little blog. I'll be back soon.

P.S.
I have a crush. And it's really hard because he's home and I'm here. And I don't know if he feels the same. And I don't really like it. Oh well, I suppose. We'll see what happens.

New Blog Posts Stat..

I apologize for the lack of blog posts lately. I have been feeling completely unmotivated and even though many new things have happened lately...I have not shared them with the blogging world. I swear, I'm going to sit down this week and post about the last week of summer, Redfish Lake, the boy I have a crush on, my new apartment, and college. I just don't feel like it right now. Not that anything is direly wrong...I'm just feeling like a bump on the log. Be back soon.

>

The Great Outdoors...

So I'm finally getting around to posting about the Palisades trip I took with my friends. I know, I know, but it took me forever to finally get around to post the pictures. Because hey, this is going to be a long post and pictures will be needed. Two weeks ago, some friends and I took a trip to Palisades Reservoir in order to have one last trip before summer ends and college begins. I was so glad to have this chance to go hang out with some of my closest friends before we all go our separate ways. One group went up earlier while some of us came up later. I drove up and my car was a party. Case in point: Chels had made some cookie bars that we were eating on the way up. She decided that I should drive with both hands on the wheel so she would need to feed me my cookie bar. Let's just say that Bee had to grab the wheel once because I was blinded and had my mouth stuffed really full. We got to the campsite (safely) and situated ourselves. We hung around, ate dinner, and just talked. Chels and I decided to go back to our tent a little earlier than everyone else and Josh came in and talked to us. We were having a good conversation when all the sudden Chels yelled, "SPIDER! Josh! Get the bugs NOW!" I never knew that Chels didn't like spiders. Josh was a good guy and killed our spiders for us and we talked until we decided to go to bed. The next morning we got ready quickly so we could go get a floating dock on the lake. We went and got a dock and then some people started out tubing and wake boarding. My friend Trevor was a beast on the tube. Almost nothing could get that kid off and if I had ridden with him (I have a slight fear of tubing) I would have been off in ten seconds. Chels was brave enough to ride with him and let me just say, that girl is tough. Way more tough than I am. We hung around on the dock, swam and then we went and played mud football on the muddy shore. The funny thing about the mud on shore is that if you get down near the mud in the water there are big holes that'll suck you in to about your thigh. So there's nothing more funny than running along and just dropping into the mud. Really, its hilarious. Even though it rained a few times throughout the day (we prayed for good weather) the little storms we had were nothing compared to the storm we encountered on our way back to camp. Big time wind. We got out of the water just in time but some boats required our manly friend's assistance. I can't believe how crazy the weather changed! One second, it was hot and sunny, and the next it looked like this! After we got back to camp it rained. And rained. And eventually we all piled into the trailer to stay warm and dry. We sat and talked and laughed some more and eventually, a bunch of us ended up in a pile on the floor, all laying on each other. I lifted my head a little bit and saw Trista laying on my stomach, Chloe on my legs, I had my feet underneath Josh's legs, and my head was right next to Bee's. Do you ever have those moments where you think to yourself, "I'm so happy right now"? That was one of those moments where everything falls into place, you're warm and safe, and just plain happy.
The next morning was gorgeous and even though a lot of us were sunburned, we went out onto the lake again. We didn't get a floating dock but we did find an old wooden washed up dock on shore that we used as base camp for the day. We swam around some more, boated, ate lots of food, ran and went sink hole jumping, and just had a good time. Eventually another storm came up, and we went and hid underneath our dock which worked out perfect.

We sat and made sandwiches and ate a lot of junk food. A lot. We sang to our playlist for the weekend and just waited for the storm to pass. Sadly, I had to leave a little earlier than everyone else so when the rained cleared enough, me and Chels and Bee left. Like I mentioned in an earlier post, I felt sad to be leaving. Our song for the weekend was playing and everyone was waving goodbye to us and I knew that soon enough, everything was going to be changing and that this was one of the last times that we would all be together for a while. I closed my eyes and took a mental snapshot and then drove home with all that warm fuzziness in my heart.


It was a good weekend.

Newest Obesession...

I love home decorating/crafting/refurbishing blogs.
I'm obsessed. There are projects on almost all of these that I would love to start doing. If I had a home...then I would be buying crap off craigslist or going to the DI so I could find things to refurbish because I have been inspired. Want to see some of my favorites? Check these ladies out. But be careful..you may become addicted like me.

Remodelaholic
All Things Thrifty by Brooke
Drab To Fab
Make It and Love It
Three Men and a Lady
Poppies at Play
Redberry Barn

Few of the things I made from inspiration from these ladies. I love making rosettes now and I made this handy bow holder from a frame, ribbon, scrapbooke paper, paint and modge podge.













Don't say I didn't warn you.

Confessions of a Long Ago Dancer

Honeybees after a competition 2008
I used to dance. And I loved it. Every so often I get a little ache inside of me that misses that feeling of expression, my once flexibility, the feeling I used to get when I nailed choreography, the team camaraderie, competition trips, and that two minutes and thirty seconds to put everything out on the floor and impress people. You see, I had to quit dance after my sophomore year because I was very sick. And even though I was honestly relieved to not have to get up at 5:00 a.m. anymore or wake up feeling like every part of me was broken and be covered in bruises, or run as a punishment, or deal with drama from coaches and team mates, sometimes I still miss it. I don't really regret my decision because that team was hurting me in more ways that one. But I do miss little things about the team (like competing and friends) and I'm both glad and sad for the things I learned.
Ten Confessions of a Long Ago Dancer:
1. Sometimes I hear songs on the radio and I still count out the beats because I think it would make a good kick/prop/jazz/hip hop dance.
2. I still like to wear my leg warmers around the house.
3. A tiny part of me wishes that she could still slick her hair back into the tightest bun possible and put on heavy dance makeup because she thought it was a little cool and so dramatic.
4. I still do leaps and turns in my house and kitchen.
5. I still like to stand in first and third position.
6. I have body issues like many girls. But I contribute a lot of them to how I felt pressured to look a certain way when I danced.
7. I think its hilarious when people look at me and say, "You were on the dance team!?". You see, our dance team didn't have the best long standing reputation. And I was known as being very shy. The two didn't mix.
8. I learned that it takes a lot to make me quit. My parents begged for me to quit my sophomore year because of how sick I was. I wanted to last out the entire year. And I did (except for being pulled out of the state competition for medical release). Stubborn as all get out.
9. I no longer am very shy about changing in front of other people. Having to do a a costume change (with..ahem..no underthings on..to prevent panty lines..) with only ten minutes between performances will do that to you.
10. I learned that I can virtually sleep anywhere if I have something to lean against.
So while I haven't danced for a few years...I still like to try and do fouettes in my kitchen. Because I was a dancer once. Don't judge.