Thursday, August 12, 2010

Confessions of a Long Ago Dancer

Honeybees after a competition 2008

I used to dance. And I loved it. Every so often I get a little ache inside of me that misses that feeling of expression, my once flexibility, the feeling I used to get when I nailed choreography, the team camaraderie, competition trips, and that two minutes and thirty seconds to put everything out on the floor and impress people. You see, I had to quit dance after my sophomore year because I was very sick. And even though I was honestly relieved to not have to get up at 5:00 a.m. anymore or wake up feeling like every part of me was broken and be covered in bruises, or run as a punishment, or deal with drama from coaches and team mates, sometimes I still miss it. I don't really regret my decision because that team was hurting me in more ways that one. But I do miss little things about the team (like competing and friends) and I'm both glad and sad for the things I learned.
Ten Confessions of a Long Ago Dancer:
1. Sometimes I hear songs on the radio and I still count out the beats because I think it would make a good kick/prop/jazz/hip hop dance.
2. I still like to wear my leg warmers around the house.
3. A tiny part of me wishes that she could still slick her hair back into the tightest bun possible and put on heavy dance makeup because she thought it was a little cool and so dramatic.
4. I still do leaps and turns in my house and kitchen.
5. I still like to stand in first and third position.
6. I have body issues like many girls. But I contribute a lot of them to how I felt pressured to look a certain way when I danced.
7. I think its hilarious when people look at me and say, "You were on the dance team!?". You see, our dance team didn't have the best long standing reputation. And I was known as being very shy. The two didn't mix.
8. I learned that it takes a lot to make me quit. My parents begged for me to quit my sophomore year because of how sick I was. I wanted to last out the entire year. And I did (except for being pulled out of the state competition for medical release). Stubborn as all get out.
9. I no longer am very shy about changing in front of other people. Having to do a a costume change ( underthings prevent panty lines..) with only ten minutes between performances will do that to you.
10. I learned that I can virtually sleep anywhere if I have something to lean against.
So while I haven't danced for a few years...I still like to try and do fouettes in my kitchen. Because I was a dancer once. Don't judge.



Chels said...

I think its awesome that you were a dancer. Ill admit I was one of those that was shocked when you reminded me as you already know. But be proud girlfriend! haha

p.s. You have to blog regularly in college cause thats how we will keep in touch:]

Serenity Rae said...

I wish I could've seen you dance!! (: I was a dancer too. I still am. I go to Carrie's adult classes now. I am going to miss you. I am so glad I got to know you hun. Thanks for being such a great friend to me! (: And we should definitely keep in touch. Keep blogging, I love reading! I will try to keep it up too. Have fun in college!