Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Hey There...

Hello my friends. I have been notified by some that I have been in need for a post for quite some time (especially since it's almost June) so here it is. Admittedly, I have been quite lame this summer thus far, hence the lack of bloggy posts. I've been a bit of a hermit and when I'm not being one, I've been passing out forty million resumes (or so it seems) in hopes of a job. Alas, I am still on the hunt for a job but never fear, I will find one. I still miss my job from last summer though. Boo-hoo. However, there are a few news nuggets that I would like to discuss here.
#1: Marriage. What's the deal-io with everyone getting all hitched and everything? It's like there's a new announcement in the mail or on the Book of Face every week. I feel as if I am severely lacking in an area of my life even though I know I am not. But hello, it's like all the sudden a numerous amount of classmates of mine have decided to tie the knot, jump the broom, and seal the deal. I have turned nineteen so therefore, my Mormon biological clock feels like its ticking...tick..tick...just jokes my friends, just jokes. We all know I'm far too little to be getting married.
#2: I don't really know what to say after that. Except that hunting for jobs is no fun. Really. This is the very first time in my job career that I've had three interviews, but no solid job offers. High ho, high ho, it's retail or food I go.
#3: The Etsy shop has been opened. Buy from me. Custom order from me. This is absolutely shameless, non-subliminal advertising.
just lovely by randi

Swears, I'll do something interesting in order to re-kindle my sad little blog.

Friday, May 13, 2011

Last Night of Eighteen...

birthday candles Pictures, Images and Photos

Tonight is my last night of being eighteen. It's a little funny but I was totally freaked to turn eighteen last year. I even cried on my birthday. But this year, it feels a little surreal that my birthday is tomorrow. I love birthdays at my home, they're filled with a lot of special treatment and a lot of acknowledgement from my parents. So believe me, I'm not a birthday hater.
But...I may be one of those odd people who get a little nostalgic on their birthdays. I loved being eighteen. To me, seventeen meant being invincible, eighteen meant freedom, and nineteen...well I don't really know what nineteen will mean to me. More freedom? My last teenage year? Serious decisions? I hope it doesn't take me too long to find out.
Eighteen. 18. That double digit number brought me a lot. Sometimes I forget that my age is so young because there are times when I feel older than those numbers. I loved being eighteen. My eighteenth summer was one of the best summers I ever had.
Here's to being eighteen. To late nights, summer romance, long walks, drive in movies, screaming at the top of your lungs, breathing in mountain air, driving too fast, and turning the radio all the way up.
Dear nineteen, treat me well.

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

My Time Has Been Kidnapped...

Every minute of my ever loving free time has been spent here.
I've got a billion ideas bouncing around my head right now, and no money to do them with. It's the pits. I'm still waiting to hear back on a job interview and two other possible job ventures so wish me luck please. I'm also trying to figure out my whole summer class dilemma. That's also the pits.
I had a break down yesterday. But it's all for the better.
My birthday is on Saturday and I can't wait to spend it with my family.
Oh, and certain people are coming home in a matter of weeks. Nervous/ excited/ weak kneed/ feeling like a ninny/ trying to be nonchalant/ hopeful.
Please forgive me.

Friday, May 6, 2011

The End of My Freshman Year of College

Tonight was my last night of my freshman year of college. It's a bittersweet night, one filled with a multitude of emotions. My apartment has slowly emptied and now I'm down to the bare essentials here. It's funny, when I woke up this morning I didn't think that I would feel this way tonight. I tried to ignore that niggling feeling in the back of my mind that reminded me that this was the last time I would go out to lunch with my roommate, that it was the last time I'd work out with my other roommate, that I wouldn't see many of my closest friends down here for a very long time. The lump in my throat has gotten progressively larger as the day has gone on. This biggest kick in the gut was when I walked into my room that I've been living in for the past 9 months to see my roommate's empty bed and her things missing from the shower.
It's funny how back in August, this was the last place that I wanted to be. I felt that it would take forever for May to get here and here I am now, preparing to move home tomorrow. This year has gone much too fast and I feel sometimes that I didn't take advantage of every opportunity I should have. I met wonderful people this year and it's incredibly bittersweet to say goodbye to many of them. Goodbyes have been hard and I have a feeling that they won't get much easier. It's hard to say goodbye to someone when you just barely realize just how much they love you and how much you love them.
I'm an emotional person. I don't do well with change. I didn't like moving away from home and here I am today, feeling very mixed about changing again. In a few weeks, I'll have been out of high school for a year. This year has been a crazy, wonderful, difficult ride. I graduated, I had wonderful experiences, I laughed with friends, I did many things for the last time, I fell in love with a boy over the summer, and I began college. When I think about that first night I spent here, I remember crying. I cried for the sting of leaving home, for the fear of being on my own for the first time, for the boy I wanted to be with, and the Randi I was used to being. Tonight I cry for a different reason. I cry because I'm saying a goodbye to people who love me because I don't know when I'll see some of them again. I cry because I'm finishing a year that meant so much to me. I cry because the bed next to me is empty. I cry because I'm leaving things behind.
I cry because I'm feeling the pains of growth. I had many this year and they were hard and they were difficult but oh, how they were needed. This particular pain however, is one that has taken me by surprise. I wasn't expecting to feel like I was leaving parts of myself behind. But those parts of me are here. They're here in my apartment where I laughed and cried and sang. They're here at the college where I learned and wondered. They're here at the side of my bed where I cried and prayed harder that I ever have in my life. They're here in the smiles and hugs and jokes of my friends.
Again, I cry for the Randi I'm used to being. I cry for the pieces that I'm losing. And tonight, I'll get ready for the hard goodbye of tomorrow. The goodbye where I'll leave Logan behind me in the rearview mirror.

But I'll be back.

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Featured at miss dawn.

photography Pictures, Images and Photos
I'm featured over here today!
I'll be posting back over here tomorrow amidst finishing packing and studying for my final!