Confessions of a Long Ago Dancer

Honeybees after a competition 2008
I used to dance. And I loved it. Every so often I get a little ache inside of me that misses that feeling of expression, my once flexibility, the feeling I used to get when I nailed choreography, the team camaraderie, competition trips, and that two minutes and thirty seconds to put everything out on the floor and impress people. You see, I had to quit dance after my sophomore year because I was very sick. And even though I was honestly relieved to not have to get up at 5:00 a.m. anymore or wake up feeling like every part of me was broken and be covered in bruises, or run as a punishment, or deal with drama from coaches and team mates, sometimes I still miss it. I don't really regret my decision because that team was hurting me in more ways that one. But I do miss little things about the team (like competing and friends) and I'm both glad and sad for the things I learned.
Ten Confessions of a Long Ago Dancer:
1. Sometimes I hear songs on the radio and I still count out the beats because I think it would make a good kick/prop/jazz/hip hop dance.
2. I still like to wear my leg warmers around the house.
3. A tiny part of me wishes that she could still slick her hair back into the tightest bun possible and put on heavy dance makeup because she thought it was a little cool and so dramatic.
4. I still do leaps and turns in my house and kitchen.
5. I still like to stand in first and third position.
6. I have body issues like many girls. But I contribute a lot of them to how I felt pressured to look a certain way when I danced.
7. I think its hilarious when people look at me and say, "You were on the dance team!?". You see, our dance team didn't have the best long standing reputation. And I was known as being very shy. The two didn't mix.
8. I learned that it takes a lot to make me quit. My parents begged for me to quit my sophomore year because of how sick I was. I wanted to last out the entire year. And I did (except for being pulled out of the state competition for medical release). Stubborn as all get out.
9. I no longer am very shy about changing in front of other people. Having to do a a costume change (with..ahem..no underthings on..to prevent panty lines..) with only ten minutes between performances will do that to you.
10. I learned that I can virtually sleep anywhere if I have something to lean against.
So while I haven't danced for a few years...I still like to try and do fouettes in my kitchen. Because I was a dancer once. Don't judge.