Wednesday, September 15, 2010

One of the Best Classes on Earth...

Just being all philosophical at the kitchen table

Dearest Blog, I am so sorry to have neglected you like a long lost sock on the side of the road (I saw one today) but I am back! Even though I don't have much to brag about (I actually should be writing a paper right now)...but oh well, not much can be done about that. I'm finally getting acclimated to college life and I love my roommates. Our apartment is feeling like second home. My roommates and I are going out tonight for a night together (I'll post pictures of everything soon, I swear). I'm really enjoying a lot of my classes and I'm learning alot. What's one of my favorite classes you ask? Special Needs Institute. Hands down. A lot of people have asked me why I chose to do a special needs religion class again and honestly, I wasn't planning on it. I signed up for the Doctrine and Covenants class and when I walked in the first day, I noticed that it was special needs. I sat down in class and it was pretty different from high school special needs seminary, mainly because a lot of the students aren't teenagers anymore. I wasn't sure if I should stay in it...but I'm so glad that I did. I love that class and it's two hours a week that I get to sit down and forget about me. Forget about my problems, my concerns, my selfish nature...because I'm focusing on another group of kids who know so much more than I do. Why do I do it? Because I love it when David comes in and tells me how working at McDonald's is. I love Larry's smile. I love Amberly telling me that she can't wait to see me the next time we have class. I love Sharon's laugh and Susie's prayers. I love Udell reading the scriptures to us. I love Joey telling me that he loves me and shaking my hand. Joey has Down syndrome and every time I see him I can't help but think of the Down syndrome kids in our high school special needs class. There's something special about kids with Downs. Because I look at them and I know that they're seeing something that I'm not. I came across a quote in the section about Down Syndrome in my Human Development book and all I could think of was the special needs kids that I've been blessed to cross paths with.

"You may have to work hard, but don't ever give up. Always remember that you are important. You are special in your own unique way. And one of the best ways to feel good about yourself is to share yourself with someone else."
-Christi Todd [quoted in Hassold & Patterson, 1999]

There's been some things that I've been struggling with the past few weeks. Letting some parts of my old life go and such. I'm homesick sometimes. I really am missing my friends and some of the people I met this summer. It's hard, much harder than I thought, to let go of some things. I thought I could just be mature and move on quickly but I'm still struggling. I feel as if I'm on some uneven ground and I'd love for it to go back to being easy, carefree summer again. But don't feel all sorry for me because I only share about my struggles here because my blog is my journal of sorts. I pray every night (and sometimes cry in the shower) for a solution and I know that eventually one will come. And hopefully I'll look back in a year and realize that I was absolutely fine. But for now, I could really use a hug sometimes. Good thing I'm going home this weekend.



bb,tonya and cam... said...

:) thank you for being you randi...i hope camden can have such a good friend someday. don't worry too much about school, it took me the whole first semester to really feel comfortable, even though i had fun, it wasn't home. and even now i still get homesick...but it's worth it. Hug.

Che and Amber said...

I hear ya Randi!! You go ahead and be homesick and talk about your struggles. My blog is my journal too! I'm giving you a hug right now! Glad you get to come home this weekend, it will make you feel lots better! My first semester of college was the same way. I even got sick the first day and had complete strangers from my ward give me a blessing. Everything will be just fine! Love you!

Chels said...

Oh my dearest Randi! I love you so much, I love reading your blog, I love bein a little pink with you, I love your thoughts and testimony when I read your blog. I really hope your going to Trevors farewell because sadly thats the only day I will get to see you. I love you so much and hope things go well. Love Jorge