Saturday, June 5, 2010

Lettters to Juliet? Not quite...Letters to Everyday People

Dear Black Jeep People,
Thank you for creating a space for me to get out of my parking lot into the road. Without you there, the other vultures on the road would have passed me by and I would have been stuck there forever.

Dear Best Buy,
Next time you see a blonde girl wandering aimlessly through the printers and printer cartridges, you might want to help her. I understand that you may have been very busy, so I will forgive you because I found what I desired.
P.S. I know that you play music in the back to show off your incredibly super cool steros but you might want to turn down that goth music just a smidge. It's a little intimidating.

Dear Woman In Parking Lot,
Please do not look at me as if I am blatantly trying to run you over. I stopped far far away from you and still you gave me the strangest look and grabbed your kid's arm and ran like the dickens. Next time, I'll honk.
P.S. You have weird hair and you shouldn't wear a mumu in public. Just sayin'.

Dear Guy at Wal-Mart,
I'd appreciate it if you would not stare at me for so long next time. It makes one quite uncomfortable and prompted my to do a quick teeth/nose/hair/clothing check. Once I found nothing, I found you quite weird.

Dear Guy in Non-Signaling Truck,
You cannot be mad at me if I didn't let you into my lane. You neglected to SIGNAL, SIGNALING that you wanted to turn into my lane. That's what the SIGNAL is for because when you SIGNAL and play by the rules, you get into the lane because you SIGNALED. Get the picture? I'm not a mind reader.

Dear Sulking Girl,
I hope you were having a productive day sitting in the foyer of my office building sulking but next time when you see a young woman who is trying to open both sets of doors while carrying a large mirror, a potted plant, a clock, and her purse, you may want to help her out and hold the door open instead of staring at me with your headphones in your ears. I even smiled at you and you still sat there. Kids these days.

Dear Little Boy,
You were riding your bike in my neighborhood when I was coming home and as I slowed down for you, you made my heart smile. With your legs pumping and you mouth open,
you were singing/yelling to the world. It made my afternoon.

Dear Mother Nature,
I don't know what's going on right now like if you just broke up with someone or if you're just having a bad day but this whole inconsistent weather thing needs to stop. It's time to stop moping and move on with life. Go take a Midol and let the sun out. Thanks!



bb,tonya and cam... said...

i love this post.

Randi Lynn said...

I thought it was pretty funny (: