Friday, December 30, 2011



This may have been my personal mantra this past year. Remember last year's post? Man oh man. If 2010 Randi knew that this year was coming...she probably would have been like "No thanks, take that back and give me something else please". Cause that's kinda what my brain was thinking this year. Let's get it out there that I am a generally happy person, really. One of my greatest beliefs in life is that happiness lies in your own hands. You can make it or break it.
But I was not happy for the greater portion of this last year.
That was a tough pill to swallow and this is my public owning up to it. It was hard. I had to ask for a lot of help. Things in my life changed, opened up, closed, and some things suffered. Like this blog. I found it very hard to blog when I felt that I had nothing to share. So I just didn't.
I thought I knew who I was. And really, I had only scratched the surface. And instead of hating this past year, I am so grateful for it. Did I cry alot? Did I feel like I had hit rock bottom? Did I get angry and tired and upset and feel like a failure? Yes.
I had a family that helped hold my hand through it. I opened my heart and sorted things out. I prayed like I've never prayed in my life. I spent countless hours in silent pleas with my Heavenly Father to save me, help me, take this away from me. I grew in ways that I did not know were possible. And my relationships with many were strengthened.
If there's one thing that I hope comes out of the trials I was given, I hope that my trials have made me a stronger and softer person. I hope that I've become kinder and more patient. I know that I have become more faithful and trusting with my Father in Heaven and Savior.
2011 was like a refiner's fire for me. And I will forever be thankful for it. Here's to overcoming struggles and learning rough lessons.
Happy New Year


Cristine Garrison said...

Hmmm. I must know more.

Serenity Rae said...

Love you Randizzle! You are super strong. & I'm lucky to have you for a friend. If you ever need anything, you can always call me. (: